Other Assessments

Getting to know who we are ought to be easy. We look at ourselves in the mirror everyday. That only gives us a snapshot or perhaps a delusion if we think that is all there is. Using the MBTI as a tool for gaining self knowledge is an excellent choice, but as my response to this reader’s request illustrates it isn’t always accomplished with a first glance.

Can you do an article about ENFP and INFP differences?
I’m NFP but don’t know whether E or I.
(To make things more complicated I’m Enneagram 3 which is externally focused, so it is confusing me.)

When people first meet the MBTI model, they often look at it as a collection of preferences. So they try to decide am I really “Extroverted” or am I more “Introverted”. The four letters that make up the MBTI type are really a code that determines how the four functions of Intuiting, Sensing, Thinking and Feeling interact. This means that a person with preferences for INFP has a different dominant or leading function than a person with ENFP preferences. I sometimes think of dominant function as a persons first language. While we use all functions they are not all used equally and this flavours how we show up in the world.

The INFP leads with Introverted Feeling. They approach life looking through a lens of what is important and what is of value in a universal context. They can see the subtle differences in a constellation of factors such as the relative value of all the component parts involved – the various groups, the individual people, their actions, the beliefs and thinking underlying the issue. All of this is measured against their own inner value system to see what is in alignment and what isn’t.

The INFP “loves” the authentic in people and draws that out in them. Integrity, harmony, values and identity are words that resonate with the INFP. They are interested in what is deep and meaningful to the individual and they are not interested in people who don’t live up to their ideals.

On the other hand ENFPs lead with Extroverted Intuition. Having this dominant function is like having radar for the unspoken, the random occurrences surrounding a situation and a sudden knowing of what it all means. Brainstorming is like oxygen and the ENFP floats possibilities out to see which ones will rise to the top. They often follow several tangents at once without attachment and this ability allows them to navigate change as part of exploring life.

The ENFP is an inspiration junkie and wants to inspire and be inspired. They are known for their enthusiasm but have to watch to temper their enthusiasm with reality.

Your Dominant Function
Again it comes down to how do you know? The best way is always to combine taking the MBTI assessment tool through a certified practitioner combined with the coaching they will offer to do a self- determination of type.

I also recommend getting curious over a period of time and becoming a detached observer of your behaviour. On a personal note- even though I spend oodles of time alone and have become less and less social over time – the ENFP dominant function of Extroverted Intuition stands out a mile. Not only do I experience it I hear feed-back from others that this is what they experience too. At the same time I know that while I appreciate deep meaningful conversation I have no interest in sustaining that in the same way an INFP can and does.

The Step 2 Distinctions
To go back to the attitudes of Introversion and Extroversion for a moment. When I use the MBTI, I prefer the Step 2 inventory which breaks down each of the preference pairs into 5 sub-pairs.
People may be out-of-preference on one side of the equation that differs from their type code and this not only adds a layer of complexity but also explains a lot.

One individual who stands out had results that said he was ENTP but he was out-of-preference on the Introverted side for 2 of the 5 distinctions for Extroversion and Introversion. He determined that INTP was a better fit for who he was and how he operated in real life. The team that reported to him also gained an understanding of how to best communicate with him. They could see that he “went to his cave” literally and figuratively at times and yet he would respond when asked so that they had permission to ask.

Also I have seen it work that understanding potential out-of-preference distinctions allowed the person to be really comfortable with their MBTI results and yet fit in this seemingly confusing aspect of their behaviour. One person who typed as an Extrovert was out-of-preference for one of the 5 distinctions on the Introverted side. He was able to explain to his team that there were times were he felt quite shy. The team members confessed that they had experienced this and felt that understanding this distinction helped them not to take this shift in behaviour personally.

As for the Enneagram
Each of these personality tools needs to be first looked at on their own before trying to see how they work along side each other. They do not readily overlap in all places and even so experts do not agree on how they do. My ENFP preferences are not typical for an Enneagram 6 but make sense to me when I see my strong 7 wing.

My suggestion is to look at these 2 tools as separate entities for now. The Enneagram is not a fast study IMHO so be okay with being curious. You are simply fascinating and worth the time investment to explore.

I’d love to hear if this helped you come to a landing place and also love to hear how others resolve MBTI type confusion.

A reader asks “What do you think about a (F) 4 and a (M) 5 in relationship?”

It is not the best use of the Enneagram or any model of personality to use it as a predictor. However the Enneagram can be a resource to understand a particular dynamic that may be currently influencing the interaction between two people or that might potentially influence their relationship. Don Riso and Russ Hudson talk about Levels of Development for each type. All types can be in relationship with any other type. The biggest influencer is the health of an individual. Health in this sense has to do with what level of development the person “hangs out in” the most – how aware they are about the impact they are making on others, how mindful they are in the present and how much they take responsibility for their actions. Anyone addicted to the hero, villain or victim role can prove toxic to any relationship.

Most of the time people don’t drive out the Enneagram in their everyday conversations about how they are getting along. When something does arise that interrupts the connection or natural flow between two people, the Enneagram shines a bright light on what is in play and can show a way to shift the energy of what is happening.

Both Four and Five are withdrawing types, so they can be caught up in their own interior world. For the Five that world is one of intellectual abstraction. The Five pulls back from the impingement of emotional entanglement to observe and gather information. The Four is all about understanding the territory of the heart and the subtleties of emotional tonality. The trick is to find the way into each others world. The Four will need to give space for the Five and modify their considerable demand for attention. Consider the alternative – the more the Four demands a “connection” the further the Five retreats to protect their need for the safety of emotional detachment.

The Five can benefit hugely from understanding the world of feelings and learning to recognize and stay with their own feelings. While Fours and Fives are on the opposite poles of emotional connection, they have the most to learn from each other. This pairing can go either way ending with both parties contracting further into their own interior realm or meeting in the middle and consequently balancing out their own tendencies.

For more information see Helen Palmer’s “The Enneagram in Love and Work”. Riso and Hudson have a rich on-line resource for members.

As a final comment – my aunt once gave me a life lesson for which I am grateful. She questioned me about the word “relationship”. She said that it was LOVE that mattered. That shifts the conversation and the kinds of things that matter, where you focus your attention and what you are willing to do to nurture the love.

In self-development work it seems to me that people often fall in love with the first assessment tool that offered them some insight. The Enneagram is that tool for me. This model of nine worldviews and ways of focusing attention was the first window that allowed me to see that how I was in the world made sense in the larger scheme of things. At the same time it held up a mirror so that for the first time I understood the concept of “blindspot” and how mine played out in my thinking and behaviour.

During a recent visit to Victoria British Columbia I attended an Introduction to the Enneagram workshop hosted by Kira MacDuffee and Edward Colley. Both Kira and Edward use the Enneagram as a lens in their work with clients as Clinical Counsellors so they have an intimate familiarity with the model.

While their presentation was chock full of useful and practical applications of the the model what I appreciated most was just how grounded their teaching was in the deeper meanings offered by the Enneagram. One of the things that initially appealed to me about the Enneagram was illustrated by the respectful approach taken by my first teachers. Kira and Edward made a point of setting the training in a historical context and helping us make the distinction between finding our type as an orientation – a home base and using it as yet another way to excuse or restrict ourselves. They reinforced the importance of not using the model label but rather to understand possible dynamics between essence qualities and how our personality acts to compensate for loss of connection with that essence quality.

The participants in the workshop responded to this approach willingly engaging in exercises designed to mark out how aspects of the various types are alive for each of us. One woman, an Enneagram Four expressed the impact of taking an online Enneagram assessment, ” When I got my Enneagram results it was one of the few times I’d felt seen and by a computer at that!”

The reminder that the Enneagram is a map of how we have lost our connection to our central nature, a look at our strategy to avoid pain was enough to remind me why I fell in love with it in the first place. It has helped me develop compassion for myself and others.

Thank you Kira and Edward

My ENFP MBTI preferences would indicate that my type could be drained by details and work that is sequential and “close-in”. The truth is that I have been officially obsessed with learning how to use Wordpress – specifically the Thesis theme. I am building a new home for my currently available paintings with lots of insights into the life of an artist and tips for buying art.

Why build this alone? You ask. I have been wondering this myself as I am way over my head and out of my ENFP comfort zone. The Reiss Desire Profile provides some insight.

My strongest drivers of behaviour in terms of motivation come from 4 of the 16 Reiss Desires – Expediency, Independence, Acceptance and Curiosity.

The need for Expediency flavours almost everything I do. It is also know as Low Honour and typically I am not interested in the tried and true 12 steps if I think 3 or 5 will get me started. I want to get things rolling. When I have to wait for a webmaster to make changes on my website, it is a rare form of torture for me. So much better to know how to do things myself – the moment I want them done. This goes hand in hand with Independence. Asking for help is not an easy thing although I am consciously trying to open and shift in this area because I believe that the way of wisdom is to tap into the wisdom of others.

Curiosity plays a role here because I absolutely LOVE learning and the internet is a generous teacher. Not only can you find wonderful tutorials online for just about anything, it also gives a sense of being part of something greater than myself when I find the help online that I need.

The fourth component Acceptance plays a small role here as well. When I finally figure out what I want to do with my site I do not want to have to open up the conversation again in order to get someone else such as the webmaster on board. If for some reason they do not agree with my approach, I am thrown into the agony of second-guessing what I am doing.

So the net result is that learning to do something I am not really cut out for makes perfect sense. The thing I need to pay attention to is the energy costs. It drains me mentally and emotionally and frequent breaks are required.

I would be embarrassed to tell you how long it took me to get as far as I am with the new blog I am building. I still have a long way to go and staying the course to get all the details in place is a challenge for my ENFP “starting” nature. The upside is a feeling of accomplishment and pride that I could learn something NEW.

BTW- I have had some very helpful feedback so far and would appreciate any other wisdom. I will incorporate your advice in order to get this site bright and shining and fully “visitor” friendly.

“Values in Action” – now there’s a phrase you don’t hear every day but the reality is that these underpin our moment to moment activities.

The last two days I co-facilitated with two masterful coaches/consultants Sara Thompson and Elaine Maxwell. Sara and Elaine had worked with this group previously and during that time they had introduced and used Seligman’s “Signature Strengths”. From time to time during this session either Sara or Elaine would observe how a person was speaking from their strengths. As the two days unfolded it was fascinating to see how the combination of a person’s top 5 strengths and the influence of their bottom strengths shaped their perspective and their behaviours.

The twenty-four strengths are explored in Seligman’s book “Authentic Happiness” and there is also an on-line assessment available at http://www.authentichappiness.com Of course at the end of day one, I had to dig out my copy to refresh my memory about my own top five signature strengths:

• Appreciation of Beauty
• Ingenuity
• Curiosity
• Judgment
• Love of Learning

Almost sounds like a recipe for an artist/coach who has just spent the last year learning all about Social media, blogging and Wordpress – don’t you think?.

The one thing that stood out for me watching how Sara and Elaine coached around these strengths, is how if any are overused they can also become a source of problem area for the person. Hmmmm – a personal lesson here maybe? Perhaps instead of continually following my almost insatiable desire for what’s new, what’s next I could stop and follow through with what I have already learned and stay with executing and getting results from all that learning and exploration… Food for thought.

I had an experience this week where I was wearing the wrong hat during a conversation. My fall back position is that of coach. And when I talk about coaching I mean partnering with someone to get clear on what’s important, to try on some possibilities and to decide next steps. This process is all about what the person being coached is ready, willing and able to do and nothing to do with introducing my approach or pushing any agenda I may have.

Being an Enneagram Six helps in that my natural inclination is not to assume authority. In theory that supports my intention not to push for my solutions to be introduced or championed. My goal is to be 100% there to pay attention to whether the solutions that are explored “fit” the person and the situation.

Well this natural inclination of the Six not to want to be the authority can backfire when that is what you have signed up to do… bring your expertise in a particular area to the table – that is. During the conversation I was asking questions, when all the other participants wanted was to be given advice. It took someone to say just “tell us what to do” for me to wake up and switch hats. Of course I was able to share my experience complete with the typically Sixish cautionary warning, and all was good.

I’m actually not sure what general conclusion I want to offer. I know for me personally, it was a friendly elbow in the side to not only stay in the conversation but also to be equally aware of what is going on on the periphery. I might have noticed that there was some frustration and wondered what to do about that. Think about what cues you use to switch from wearing one hat to another.

The learning never ends! And as Martha says, “That’s a good thing.”

We are wired to try to make sense of the world, but when it comes to the MBTI – it simply does not explain everything.

When something isn’t working about the behaviour of someone else, it is tempting to develop theories to explain what is happening. If people know the MBTI they may use type or preference differences as their rationale. When the statements they make take the form of sweeping generalizations “I don’t like Extraverts they always yell instead of talking and I can’t hear myself think.” there is the possibility of creating much more harm than good.

So before we go painting everyone of a certain preference with the same paint brush let’s take a breath. Perhaps this person’s behaviour is objectionable because of their level of development. There might also be several other possible explanations that aren’t about personality type.

The Enneagram addresses this issue in a direct manner. The way the Enneagram is presented by Riso and Hudson adds levels of development to their look at type. At higher levels a person tends toward being open and expansive as opposed to restricting and reacting at the lower levels. It is very helpful to see behaviours that are healthy and how type may function in an unhealthy way. This saves labeling a certain negative behaviour as being a characteristic of the type as a whole. The individual in question may simply be less developed and have behaviour that reflects this.

HINT: Words like “always, never, everyone, everywhere” mark out something that needs to be examined a little closer to find the truth.

HINT #2: Consider this quote from Jung himself

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.

The Enneagram is a model of nine distinct personality types. This may sound like something that could offer an simpler model than the MBTI (Myers Briggs Type Indicator). Nine types compared to sixteen of the MBTI – right?

My experience is that the Enneagram provides richness and depth and that, in fact, it demands a deeper commitment than the MBTI. So why bother?

Somewhere along the career path some folks run into territory where a mechanistic or tactical approach simply won’t provide any answers. What to do next becomes a spiritual journey. When that happens the Enneagram offers a window to an uncannily accurate look at who you are and how your worldview shapes your reality.

It requires some work to have this kind of conversation – even if it’s with yourself.

In case I have scared you off completely, the Enneagram can also be viewed on a simple practical level and can work well in conjunction with the MBTI. For example, my Enneagram type six is sometimes referred to as the Loyal Skeptic. My worldview is that the world isn’t always what it seems on the surface. The quest of the six is searching for certainty. The point of growth is in recognizing that certainty doesn’t exist. The other part of the path of growth for the six is to learn to trust that no matter what the circumstances they will be able to handle what comes their way.

In a real work situation my style is to “be prepared” beyond what might be required so that I can have the flexibility in the moment to throw it all away and respond to the needs of the people in the room.

I also have a strong influence from the Enneagram type seven that is aligned with the optimistic, cheerleader aspects of my MBTI ENFP preferences. The Enneagram helped me to understand the fear and doubt that often runs silently below the surface of my enthusiasm.

Curious about yourself? Want to see more of the model? If you want to take a cool quiz scroll down to the bottom of the page on the previous link (quiz).

I am always available for coaching in order to help you apply what you understand about your type to your work/life situation.

P.S. I’d love to hear what type you are – both your Enneagram type and your MBTI

The Reiss Desire Profile can be taken as an online assessment that results in a report that looks at 16 core motivational tendencies. (For an overview of the research behind this profile and a brief description of the 16 desires have a quick look here)

There are several things to remember when taking an assessment tool:

1. Perhaps the number one thing to keep in mind is that this is a TOOL and it’s value lies in how you work with it
2. Before diving in to apply what is in the report take time upfront to see if the results match with what you know to be true. Does this seem an accurate reflection of who you are?
3. What does not fit that you might want to pay attention to?
4. What aspect did you expect to see reflected that isn’t showing in the results?
5. Take time to compare the results to what is happening now and in the past -”In reflecting on my life and work can I see how what this profile says applies”.
6. You get out of these personality tools the investment that you make in understanding and applying them. A superficial “one -time” read through your profile may well be soon forgotten. Returning to reflect trough the lens of the tool deepens your understanding.
7. A coach or facilitator trained in that assessment tool will help you to know how to interpret the tool accurately and make the most of applying your knowledge to your work/life reality.

There are also some things that are specific to the Reiss

1. The motivational tendencies that you score either highly on or have a low score (those in the green and red zones) will have the greatest influence
2. Those desires that are in the mid-range (yellow) will be neutral
3. The desires in the green or red range will reflect things that you will motivate you time after time
4. Satisfying these needs (desires) once will not be the end of their influence
5. They do not need to be satisfied in your current work or relationships but can be factored in in other ways

Some examples of application:

Acceptance can be a particularly challenging motivator. Most work situations are not designed to satisfy this desire and may in fact be quite the opposite by requiring a level of detachment and sacrifice of personal concerns. There are groups such as Toppers which is a weight loss program, Mary Kay Cosmetics and some social or special interest groups where recognition is an integral part of the program. A job that comes up short in satisfying the need for acceptance can be balanced by engaging with a group that has affiliative roots and provides Acceptance as part of how they operate.

On a personal note I have come to see how much Expediency plays a role in my decision making. This is the opposite of having High Honour as a motivator. A person motivated by High Honour will be motivated by what’s traditional, what brings in and respects the tried and true approaches. I am consistently motivated to get things done in the most efficient and effective way possible regardless of tradition. I am the Queen of finding ways to reduce 3 step processes to “let’s try this to see if we can get it done in ONE.” Does it backfire? Sometimes. Does that ever stop me from wanting to find the most expedient way? No Never… this particular desire is a double edged sword at times -being both a blessing and a curse. There are a number of jobs in government and other institutions that value High Honour concerns that would be a motivational challenge for me.

Someone with High Physical Activity might want to design some reoccurring exercise or sports activities into their week. In addition they might want to look at how they function at work. In a recent video I showed a clip of a fashion designer Linda Lundstrom who had several work stations in a manufacturing facility only one of which was a sit down space.

You can look for a work situation that matches your motivational profile in some important ways. You can also design how you operate in an existing work situation. The important part of this is to use the information to help increase alignment of who you are with what you do.

Every individual has some proportion of all 16 basic needs described in the Reiss Desire Profile which you can see here. Each person person will have a high desire for some traits, others traits will be on the low end and some will be in the neutral mid-zone. The places where we share a high desire for a specific trait or traits with another person will typically be a bonding experience. For example, people with a high desire for status will seek out environments that support this desire and other people who share this sensitivity… think Conde Nast and a building full of people dressed in black.

On the other hand when people are on either end of the spectrum on the same trait, they may experience conflict. Imagine someone with a high need for saving in relationship with someone who spends freely. This can provide challenges both personally and in the workplace.

My husband has a high need for physical activity. His idea of a good day might include 36 holes on two challenging golf courses, a curling bonspiel (Canadian eh!) or volunteering to dig, cement and instal water cachement systems in Guatemala. My idea of a great day is hearing all about it over a glass of wine at dinner. We have been able to work this particular conflict out especially since we both have a high need for independence and we both enjoy dinner.

Other discrepancies have created greater challenges for me. I have a high need for acceptance which is a challenge for many people in the workplace. If a person with a low need for acceptance doesn’t have a modicum of awareness this can be a challenge. They might not care what others think of them – if THEY are okay with things they can go ahead. What others think may not even be on their radar screen. Some industries like the film industry also call for a certain thick skin. If you take things personally in this high pressure environment, you may not last very long.

I have learned over the years that I work best with others who are expedient. If someone has a high need for honour and needs to follow the traditions of the way things were done step by step, I am not the best business partner for them. I want to get on with it – move things forward – rock and roll. (Oops getting carried away here). I am the Queen of the lazy man’s load – pile thing up to make one trip even when 3 may be required -I am not proud of it but accept that this is typically my modus operandi.

You cannot change a person’s desires or negotiate them out of it. You can’t explain it with the hopes of changing another. You can agree to disagree. You can accept that the other person is different and build on the areas of commonality. The traits that you both rank in the neutral area do not have the same impact on the quality of the relationship.

Knowing who you are – accepting yourself – being transparent with others – accepting them and making clear agreements about areas of difference provide 5 steps toward healthy relationships.