In MBTI terminology Feeling is one of the two preferences for making decisions. It is not about making decisions based on emotion but rather based on values and how the decision will impact the people involved.

The English language being as complex as it is, has many meanings for the same word. When we ask “How are you feeling?” to mean “What emotional state are you experiencing?” many people with either Thinking or Feeling preference cannot give a specific answer.

Self-awareness is one of the Emotional Intelligence competencies and it is a valuable exercise to ask and answer “What am I feeling?” with some specificity. Sometimes the awareness of our current state is sufficient to shift it – if necessary. “Fine” as an answer is less than enlightening.

People with a preference for INTP seem to have finely tuned radar that let’s them look at any situation and literally “see” the underlying principles involved. Understanding the requisite guiding principles for the best result and then operating accordingly is second nature. Therefore they may also measure the success of an endeavour by how closely the result matches these guiding principles.

What may not be second nature is fully understanding that others do not necessarily process the same way. People with different preferences may need help to make the connection between a particular principle and the behaviours that go along with it.

I can imagine that it is disappointing to the INTP when the people act in a way that goes counter to agreed principles. It is worth taking the time up front to help make some links.

“If we say we agree on these principles what does that look like in action?”

It may also seem too obvious but keeping a running check in will keep “drift” from being inevitable.

“Does this current direction align with our principles?”

Do you have a set of operating principles for how you conduct your business (or career)?

Click here if you cannot see this doodle

This MBTI based cartoon is based on a direct quote from an ISTJ. I love the word “obviously” smack in the middle of this summation. I can imagine someone who knows what their place is in the organizational structure and abides by all of the spoken and unspoken traditions that accompany the org chart. Efficient, orderly, organized and a strong dose of being realistic. The job at hand gets done – fun, frivolity and spontaneity may not be in the job description here.

The best negotiations occur when the goal is a WIN for both parties. Nevertheless when you arrange to speak second you understand the territory better and can make a more strategic offer. No use giving away the farm (or castle).

Do you think negotiating is easier for some types than others? What is your best advice?

When someone is talking from their ideals, from their heart, a quick thrust to the bottom line can be a jolt and can seem abrasive. Here’s a tip for uber-analytical types “When someone is waxing enthusiastically, soften the delivery if you want to be heard.”

If you cannot see the “doodle” go to http://www.personalityplusinbusiness.com/2010/who-wants-a-reality-check.html

If you are attempting to influence someone it is very dangerous to assume you know what they feel, what they need, what they value and how they make decisions. Get it wrong and you you can send people into resistance to your ideas and you will NEVER know why.

This week during a conversation with an Extraverted salesperson who did not know the Myers Briggs Type Indicator, I described the differences between Introversion and Extraversion and the internal processing of those with a preference for Introversion.

At first a look of surprise crossed their face and this was followed by an immediate aha moment. They went on to describe a conversation that had just occurred that morning with a client. The salesperson had been using discovery questions to explore the needs of this client and was getting MUCH MORE silence than response. The silence compelled the salesperson to push – asking even more questions. As this Extravert listened to me describe how the Introvert has a dominant function that is in the internal world not the external, they suddenly were able to reframe the clients behaviour from “being difficult (on purpose)” to being the Introvert’s natural way of reflecting before speaking. They were thrilled to have the suggestion to give the person time to reflect before pushing for an answer before the person has had a moment to ponder their response

(For any email subscribers -The “doodle” that accompanies this post can be viewed by clicking on the link in the title)

What is the logical rational first thing that needs to happen when you are making a significant life or business decision? If you have a preference for Thinking, your answer to this question might just be that you need to identify your criteria for a successful outcome. That way you will be able to compare and decide if the option before you meets that criteria.

While this makes sense in theory, in practice someone with a preference for Feeling will typically have a different approach. They may eventually come up with a very rational and objective set of criteria but a more subjective approach will lead them there.

In any case I have met Steve. Steve is a fascinating ENFP, as if all ENFP’s myself included, aren’t fascinating. As of February 1st Steve announced the end of his Fall/Winter regimen. Steve is the UBER outdoorsman and he is going into serious training to be ready for all the activities the warmer weather brings.

Canadians typically shift our eating patterns from the warm comfort food we crave in the cold weather to eating lighter fare in the summer. However, Steve was so intentional about his approach. It struck me that the simplicity of this focus made such sense and works for a “perceiver” to have lots of wiggle room and not feel tied down by a rigid schedule. Such a seasonal approach is not for everyone but this definitely works for Action-oriented Steve.

Work horse that I am, I had to ask what could possibly interrupt our work flow. A big grin crossed her face as she announced that this was a “S” day and that as well as working with me she also had a swim time planned followed by Scrabble.

I laughed thinking that it was a coincidence that everything started with an “S”, but when I asked what letter day the next day was she rattled off the items all starting with “C” with such a straight face as if it was the most natural way of scheduling one’s day.

I realize this an unprofessional question but I wonder “Do P”s have more fun?”