Sorry it’s taken so long to respond but its been one of those months of deep introspection for me – inspired, in part, by your post. (Thanks for the rest of your gifts that provoked reflection this year too, btw)

As a Virgo with a Thinking preference, being analytical and ‘knowing oneself’ is very important. I subscribe completely to the notion that “the unexamined life is not worth living”.

Knowing oneself is one thing, however being ‘true’ to oneself, as you so rightly point out, is a challenge. Environmental conditions (economic, social and emotional) often pressure us to change in order to survive. How can we do that with integrity? How can we adapt with awareness and knowledge and yet stay “true to ourselves”?

I think the crux lies in understanding ourselves as ever evolving, ever adapting organisms. In Darwinian terms, we’re not far out of the trees physically but socially we’ve made considerable “progress”. As emotional beings, on the other hand, we still have some considerable way to go, imho.

Our emotional life often leaves us with a bunch of past experiences through which we filter current events – we accumulate insecurities and fears and needs etc. that inform our perception of “reality”. Often we recognize that the feelings we experience aren’t rational but sometimes they’re so intense, they’re hard to deal with. The temptation is to throw our hands up and say, ‘That’s who I am’ – as if capitulating to our fears and insecurities is somehow a display of integrity. It’s nothing less than an abdication of responsibility to do the hard work. In that sense, I think we need to give up “who we are” in order to survive (not physically but mentally, emotionally, spiritually)

For me, the key is to acknowledge that between stimulus and response; we have a choice. It is within our power to change our emotional response to a situation. It’s not easy; it takes effort but as you point out “we have the opportunity to use whatever wisdom we have in order to be intentional about how we interact while still respecting that we are part of a living system”

Finally, thanks Sandy for your gentle guidance and mindful mentorship.

hugs
John